Archive for the ‘Self Improvement’ Category
Friday, October 10th, 2008
Why We Lash Out
Each one of us has experienced situations where we’ve found ourselves lashing out at someone without meaning to. We later berate ourselves for losing control and feel guilty for treating the other person badly. And while it is human nature that our emotions and moods will get the better of us from time to time, we can learn to navigate our feelings and negotiate difficult situations without losing our center.
Often, when we lash out, it is because we are having a difficult time containing the emotions that are coming up inside of us. We may be feeling overwhelmed, afraid, frustrated, stressed out, or angry. Having these feelings boiling up inside of us can be very uncomfortable, and it is natural to want to release them. But when we release our feelings from our body by directing them outward and toward someone else, they inevitably impact the “innocent bystander” to whom we are directing this energy. They not only get the brunt of our anger, frustration, or stress, but also they can actually experience this energy as a physical force hitting their bodies.
When you find yourself in a situation where you are about to lash out at the person in front of you, try to center yourself by breathing slowly and deeply. A few slow inhales and exhales can help dissipate the intensity of your feelings before they escape you. Later, when you find yourself in a more reflective state, sit down for a moment; recall the feelings in your body just before and during your outburst; note where you feel sensations coming up in your body; and ask yourself if they are connected to any core issue or experience from your life. If nothing comes to mind, then revisit the situation again, exaggerating the details of what happened by indulging in outlandish “what if” fantasies. Exaggerating events after the fact can help expose the unconscious subtext behind your heated response. Understanding the motivation behind your reactions can help you avoid lashing out again when a similar situation comes up. In learning to navigate around your emotions, you are gi! ving yourself the tools to feel better the next time your emotions start to boil. In doing so, you will be taking care of yourself by alleviating your own uncomfortable feelings while respecting and protecting those around you.
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Friday, October 10th, 2008
Answering The Call
There are those of us who believe that our lives are predestined and that we should resign ourselves to our lots in life. Yet the truth is that it is up to each one of us to decide what that destiny will be. While each of us is born with a life purpose, it is up to us whether or not we will say yes to fulfilling it. And just like when we choose what to eat, who to keep company with, and whether to turn right or left when we leave our home everyday, choosing to say yes to your destiny is a decision that can only be realized when you take action to make that choice a reality.
Whether you believe it is your destiny to be a parent, an adventurer, an artist, a pioneer, or a spiritual guru, saying yes to your destiny is only the first step. While manifesting your destiny starts with knowing what you want and believing you can attain your goals, there are then the actions that must be taken and the decisions to be made before your destiny can truly happen. When you take responsibility for fulfilling your destiny and begin acting with the intention of doing so, you not only take fate into your own hands, but also you become the hands of your own fate. Doorways inevitably open for you to step through, and every choice you make can be a creative act toward realizing your goals and dreams. You begin to follow your instincts and intuition, recognize opportunities when they are presented to you, and seize those golden moments. You also begin to recognize the decisions that may not serve this greater picture and can more easily push them aside.
Remembering that the decision to fulfill your destiny is always a choice can be empowering. Knowing you are fulfilling your destiny because you want to, rather than because you have to, can make a huge difference. When you are freed from obligation, obstacles in your way become challenges to be overcome, and the journey becomes an adventure rather than the obligatory steps you are being forced to take. Your destiny may be waiting for you, but whether or not you meet your destiny is up to you. Your fate is in your hands.
Tags: destiny, taking responsibility
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Wednesday, October 8th, 2008
When we lose anything that we cherish, the sense of emptiness we are left behind with can be overwhelming. A space that was filled, whether in our lives or our hearts, is now a void, and the feelings of pain, loss, and separation can sometimes be difficult to bear. While it is always important to honor what we’ve lost, sometimes a loss can also represent a chance for a new beginning. When we are ready, the void left by a relationship, a job, or a dream can then be viewed as open space that can be filled with something new: new experiences, new knowledge, new job opportunities, new dreams, new people, and new ways to grow.
There are many ways to weave the threads of loss into a blessing. If you’ve lost a job or ended a relationship, your first thoughts may revolve around filling the void with a similar job or the same kind of relationship. Try not to rush into anything just to fill up the emptiness. The loss of a job can free you up to explore new opportunities, especially if you’ve outgrown the old one. Likewise, the loss of a relationship can give you a chance to rediscover your own interests, explore new passions, and meet different people.
If seeking the good in what seems like a bad situation makes you feel uncomfortable, then try to remember that you are not devaluing what you’ve lost or replacing it cold-heartedly. You are surrendering to the fact that, in life, we sometimes have to let go and allow for what is new to enter into the open spaces created by our losses. In doing so, you are honoring what has left you and welcoming the new into your life with open space, an open mind, and an open heart.
Tags: emptiness, feelings, hearts, job, priority, relationship
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Tuesday, October 7th, 2008
Positive affirmations have been around for awhile as a tool for self improvement. Earlier self help authors discussed this technique as a means of shaping the results in your life in a favorable way. Napoleon Hill called it “auto-suggestion”. Joe Karbo labeled it “Dyna/Psych”. But they were essentially talking about the same thing.
There is nothing complicated, sexy, or high-tech about positive affirmations. I bet that’s why more people don’t use affirmations on a regular basis. They might try it for a few days. But invariably, most underachievers drop this simplistic method, in search of greener pastures elsewhere. Sadly, either that search goes on endlessly, or they withdraw from the process, having decided that the life they have now is as good as it gets.
But positive affirmations can produce terrific results. They alter the internal programming that’s been subconsciously guiding and directing your life.
What are affirmations? They are nothing more than a series of positive statements that represent favorable outcomes. They are designed to shift one’s own self concept. A famous example is Emile Coue’s “Every day in every way, I am getting better and better.” Another example is “I believe in myself and my ability to learn new things.”
Note that both examples are simple statements. They are stated in the present tense and spoken in the first person. These are key characteristics of positive affirmations. It’s you making a declaration about your desired outcome, and accepting it as your reality NOW.
The examples cited above are general in nature, but you can make them as specific as you want.
Positive affirmations work to overcome the negative programming that most of us have accumulated over time. We’ve been slammed by teachers, parents, coaches, friends, lovers, and bosses at one time or another and this has diminished our self image and our ability to seize control and shape our destiny the way we want. According to leading self-help expert, Bob Proctor, “You cannot outperform your own self image.” So for change to take place in our lives, we have to to look at the programming that’s been installed.
Positive affirmations are one way to re-shift your self-concept and magnetize your goals towards you. It won’t happen in a day or a week. But if you stick with it and use them consistently, positive affirmations will pay off handsomely for you. Repetition is the key. Make it part of your daily routine and your reality will shift accordingly.
Here’s a secret to making your affirmations even more powerful. Speak them with feeling. Put your heart and soul into the words as you speak them. Feel it as real, as though it’s already part of your existence. Feel it in every fiber of your being.
Positive affirmations work best when used in combination with creative visualization. First create the image in your mind about what you want. Then deliver supportive reinforcement with affirmations. It’s a one-two punch that can turn a street kid into the heavyweight champion of the world.
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Tuesday, October 7th, 2008
Visualization is the process of seeing in your mind’s eye something that you would like to do, have, or become. It’s building the prototype in your imagination first, thus activating the quantum Law of Attraction to create the corresponding physical reality.
Following are 7 visualization tools to help you make the most of this incredible power that’s available to you right now:
1. A peaceful, quiet place. First in importance among the various visualization tools is to find a place where you can enjoy total peace of mind for 15-20 minutes. Visualization is a personal experience that requires mental focus. That’s why you need a quiet place.
After you gain some experience in visualizing, you’ll be better-equipped to deflect outside noise and distractions. But for the beginner, it’s important to find your own sanctuary where you can be zero in on something you really want.
A safe bet is often a room at home with a door you can close behind you. But a peaceful place in a natural setting can be a tremendous enhancement to your visualization. Look for a secluded grassy knoll beside a babbling brook, or comfortable spot along a forest path.
2. Keep a pen and notepad handy and use it to write out the goal you’ll be visualizing. Articulating a desire helps you decide what you most want. When you get it down on paper, does it come to life? Or is there something else you really want to go for now?
Getting your thoughts down on paper helps you decide. A second advantage to writing it out is it helps you gain clarity and refine your objective in detail. The more detailed your description, the more it tends to fuel your desire.
3. An audio recorder is another powerful visualization tool. Any kind of recorder will do. Simply speak into the microphone and record what it is you want. Maybe it’s a new car, or wardrobe. Perhaps it’s a relationship, or you want to improve your own self confidence. It doesn’t matter what it is. Simply describe the result you want to have. Record your ideal scene with you already in possession of that which you seek.
4. Read the works of authors who reveal the magic of visualization. Look for Creative Visualization by Shakti Gawain and anything written by Neville Goddard or Denis Waitley. All three understood the power of the mind to visualize or simulate a desired outcome to in fact bring it about.
5. Use affirmations to strengthen your visualization sessions. Affirmations are positive, empowering statements of fact expressed in the first person. They are powerful visualization tools designed to present a new self-concept; that of actually being in possession of whatever it is you seek.
6. Guided visualizations make it even easier. When you can listen to a CD or download that includes relaxing music as a soothing voice takes you on an imaginary trip towards yours specific goal — that’s powerful! Guided visualizations help channel your thinking and get you focused on your specific goal.
7. “Reminder triggers” help keep you on your chosen path. Visualizations are empowering. But what happens when you’re finished a session and you head back out into the dog eat dog world of 21st century living?
You tend to forget about the direction you want to head in. That’s where you need a reminder trigger. Maybe it’s a special coin you carry in your pocket. Or it could be a goal card you keep with you that states clearly and succinctly what you’re working towards. Even something as simple as an elastic band around your wrist can help you snap back into living life on your terms, whenever you catch yourself going astray.
There you have it — 7 powerful visualization tools to enhance your sessions and your life. Apply these and you’ll find yourself taking a faster, more direct route towars the things in life you most want
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Tuesday, October 7th, 2008
With most things in life, having a guide — particularly at the beginning — makes it easier to master.
Learning this process to gain the full benefit of this glorious gift is also easier when you have some help. That’s what guided imagery meditation and visualization is all about. It’s like having a qualified guide or coach to take you through the process, anytime you want.
Here are 5 easy steps to guided imagery meditation and visualization:
1. Get into a comfortable and relaxed state. That’s the first and most important step to guided imagery meditation and visualization.
You’ve got to be relaxed to make meditation work and the more relaxed you are — the better. Allow your entire body to go limp. Simply release any tension as you relax your muscles. Start at the top of your head and work your way down your body, consciously relaxing every area and letting all tension fall away.
2. Calm the mind. It is possible to relax physically and still have your mind running at warp speed. But the state you want to achieve through your guided imagery meditation is the exact opposite. You need to free yourself from the continuous and random flow of thoughts.
The first time you try this, you’ll find your mind jumping from one thought to the next, without any reason or logic. It simply isn’t used to letting go and feeds on thought, whatever the nature. But freeing yourself of the internal dialogue is crucial for meditation and visualization.
3. Focus on your breathing. Take long, slow, deep breaths. Don’t strain though. Keep it easy and peaceful. Relax more and more each breath. By concentrating on your breathing, you help to control your mind’s tendency to think about other things. Focusing on your breathing alone occupies the mind while relaxing the body, which is ideal for our purpose.
4. Attain a meditative state of mind and body. Allow yourself to sink deeper and deeper into a more calming and peaceful place. This is your target destination — to find profound peace of mind and comforting tranquility where you are connected to Spirit and where no resistance exists. Once you’ve found it, you’ll know you’ve discovered heaven on earth.
5. Now that you’ve attained this wonderful state of complete relaxation, simply project images of what you want to accomplish on the screen of your mind. With guided imagery meditation and visualization, all you have to do is follow along. As the images are painted for you, simply add whatever elements of detail you like. This makes it your own — your unique creation unlike any other.
Choose something specific and be definite about your ability to manifest it. Involve as many of the senses as you can. Feel at one with your desire now. Do this and you will have applied the secret of guided imagery meditation and visualization to manifest what you want.
“Guided” means that your led every step of the way. It simplifies the process and shortens the learning curve. Simply choose a recorded CD that fits a desire of yours. And then follow the narrator’s voice as you are gently guided through the entire process.
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Tuesday, October 7th, 2008
Creative visualization activates the law of attraction. By imagining things or circumstances as you would like them to be, and making them real in your mind, you’re actually planting a seed that is sure to sprout.
The recent movie “The Secret” introduced the law of attraction to millions of people all over the world. But the law of attraction and the concept of visualization are nothing new. In fact, this great law has always been available. Early self-help authors exposed visualization as the tool to get the law of attraction working for you. Norman Vincent Peale, for example, called it “Positive Imaging”. In fact, that was the title of one of his numerous books.
Visualization is a precious tool. It’s something that is available to all at any time, in any location. And it doesn’t cost a dime. Perhaps that’s why so few value it and use this powerful tool of creation consciously and on a regular basis.
Below are 15 creative visualization tips to help you to recognize and capitalize on your own unlimited powers to create.
1. Choose your goals carefully. Whatever you want can be yours through your thinking, feelings and actions. Decide on something you will commit to having, being or doing in your life. Manifestation doesn’t usually happen overnight. It takes persistence. If what you’re shooting for doesn’t turn you on, chances are you won’t stay with it long enough.
2. Create an image of your desire. Stick to a single target and expand, refine and enlarge the mental picture. It’s the details that help bring your desire to life.
3. Keep it to yourself. Don’t tell anyone else about what you want or how you’re going about creating it. Letting it leak out weakens the energy and leaves you open to negative questions and comments. Get what you want first and then you can tell whoever you want about it.
4. Add emotion to your visualization. Make it so real you can taste it. Put yourself in the picture, fully enjoying the rewards you envision. Lock in those positive feelings so you can relive them again and again.
5. Combine creative visualization with positive affirmations. Affirmations help recondition your old way of thinking, freeing yourself from limitations and allowing you to soar like an eagle. When used together, they provide an explosive combination.
These five creative visualization tips will help you make the most of any visualization session. They’ll add fuel to the burning desire deep inside you. And they’ll help you manifest all you can imagine in life.
The simple process of visualization works. I’ve seen it firsthand and I live it daily. Use these simple creative visualization tips and they will help you get wherever you want to go that much sooner.
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Tags: creative visualization, transforming your life, visualization tips
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Wednesday, February 20th, 2008
Four gentlemen visited me in my office.They came to say goodbye to me. They did not want to be part of this world.. They blamed me for their departure from this world… “It is a shame that individuals like you are forcing us to leave this world. We came here with a noble intention but it seems that you are not interested in us at all . You will suffer all along your life Vish. We curse you……”
” Go to Hell” I said. I have been doing my duty to the best of my abilities and you seem to say that i have been responsible for your exit….”
Turning to the Happiness, the first gentlemen, I said ” You have failed to cheer up people….. so don’t open your mouth…”
To Honesty I said ” You have lost all interest in mankind….You are selfish and care only about yourself… Who cares for you anyway?…”
To Integrity I said ” You fear to partner with ordinary human beings and roam around only with the great people. So Get lost this moment….
To Knowledge I said ” You want to share your secrets only with few people. You are afraid that if everyone knows these secrets your value will be undermined.. You are playing a game and your intentions are not genuine, I don’t need you in any case…
All the four gentlemen left my office. I heaved a sigh of relief. I became light… These four people had good characteristics but they put too much pressure on my being…..
Everyone in this world is trying to be happy….
Everyone in this world is trying to be honest…
Everyone in this world is trying to integrate their inner world with the outer…
Everyone in this world is trying to acquire knowledge…
And they keep trying for the rest of their life……
They will never succeed. How many people have been born and how many have died?. Billions have come and gone and all we have been doing is trying, trying and trying…. We are failing,failing and keep failing….
The reason is simple. …
We tried to find happiness in only good things ,not the bad ones. Who told you my dear friend that happiness means showing of all your teeth? Who gave you the permission to deny happiness in sorrow and pain? Which school of thought related happiness with only pleasure…You belittled your own happiness and forced me to drive this gentlemen away from your life….
Majority of the human beings are honest. They pay all their bills on time and never cheat other people. But they cheat themselves. When you heard that faint voice from within you say something why did you not pay attention to it ?. Why were you not honest to all those wonderful things your inner voice whispered to you? Why did you cheat it my dear friend? Why did you not have the guts to follow it? Why? Why? Why? You did not earmark a place for honesty and forced me to drive this gentlemen away from your life….
You balanced your personal life with your professional life. At least you attempted to do.. But you never cared a damn about balancing your inner world with the outer. You gave it the stupid name of spirituality and gave it the last preference. When everything else failed you took shelter in your inner self. You are not ashamed to visit the bank everyday,you are not ashamed to have sex everyday but you have problems praying to God,to evoke your inner being,to visit a temple,church or mosque…everyday. You thought you could integrate your inner self with the outer at a later date, which stupid thought gave you permission to think in this manner my dear friend? You lost out on a golden opportunity to tap into the vast potential of your higher self and realize all your dreams … You forced me to drive this gentlemen away from your life….
You gave education a lot of respect. I appreciate you for that. You worked hard on your education and you did very well. I salute you for that. But where is the sharpness of the mind… where is the concentration of the mind… How did doubt creep up in your mind, from where did insecurity manage to get in, how did you allow fear to enter into your premises?. How could these have happened if you had the real knowledge? Education is knowing the external world and knowledge is about mastering your inner being. You were educated but you lacked knowledge. You were an individual who went into the battlefield with all the tools but you did not know which territory to capture. You captured everything which came your way and this spelt doom for you… You could see but you could not visualise. You were strong but you were not powerful. You were wealthy but you were not rich. You were happy but you were not blissful… You were ignorant about knowledge and paid no attention to it. You had everything and yet you had nothing…. You forced me to drive this gentlemen away from your life….
“Relax….” said the four gentlemen to me… “We will give you and everyone else another chance. This time we will go out of our way to help everyone.. We promise you that… We will work one on one with every individual . We will work day and night for you. We will help you restore beauty in this world…
I thought about for a moment. Should i accept their proposal… Are these four guys genuine…?
I rose from the table and slapped them hard on their face. I returned home… “Daddy what happened to you, did someone hit you on your face. Your face is all red and swollen” said my six year old son. I looked at the mirror. I could see the four gentlemen smiling. Their face were not red and swollen… They were not affected by my reaction. ” We are here to stay and help you… We are not going anywhere.We look forward to your criticism and active participation….” they seemed to say… I was embarrassed. My child came running. I hid my face. He forced it open with his gentle hands. The redness had disappeared and so was the swelling… We hugged each other.The four gentlemen also participated…… A beautiful world was created that very moment…
Tags: Happiness, Self Help, Spirituality, Vishwriter
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Wednesday, February 20th, 2008
Someone was holding a gun at the back of my head. He never pulled the trigger but it always scared me to hell ! I was always a frightened individual. I became nervous and used to panic at small things going wrong. Everywhere i went the gun man followed me… to work, to the bank, to the airport, to the malls, to bed and even when i was asleep….. He never pulled the trigger, perhaps he never wanted to…..
Whenever i wanted to speak up, the gunman raised his voice and i mellowed down like a tame lamb. All times, that i wanted to express my views he would simply tell me to shut up…. There were occasions when i wanted to share my views with people but the moment i rose to speak the gunman made me nervous… My palm used to get wet , i used to panic and everything fell apart…. It seemed to me that he wanted to nip my courage in the bud… This continued for more than 10 years… I got used to the gunman…..
I never ventured to do anything courageous. I went about my daily activities like a hostage pushed from one cell to another….One day i told my five year old son about the gunman… I lacked the courage to tell anyone else…. My son got pretty excited and told me “Dad i would like to meet the gunman…. Next time that he holds the gun at the back of your head call me. I will slowly get behind him and shoot him with my machine gun(he love his toy) and he will die……..” I had a hearty laugh after a long time….
That night i drew little courage from those bold words of my son. I thought instead of shooting him from the back why don’t i take shelter at some place where he can never follow me.Various ideas came to my mind and then a powerful voice spoke from within ……
” When you pray to God and surrender to Him the gunman would never be visible…..
” When you do anything creative you would never spot the gunman…..
“When you listen to your real self, your inner voice the gunman would disappear…
All other times he would follow you…. ”
The powerful voice disappeared….
I was thrilled… Finally, i had found a way to get rid of the gunman.But the very next moment I was frightened again. I prayed to God for only five minutes, i was not a creative person and i never had the habit of listening to my inner voice… So what do i do….?
The powerful voice spoke again….
“Practise seeing the good and the bad in the world through the Lord’s eyes… Use His eyes to see the world and use your eyes to see your inner world…. That way you will be praying to Him all day…..
You don’t have to be a poet,painter, or a writer to be a creative person.. Creativity can be applied to anything that you do.. Creativity is nothing but a slight shift in your thinking pattern, where you allow a greater force to take over you… You don’t apply pressure on yourself, you don’t try to do anything intelligent , you don’t make use of your memory. You allow yourself to travel to a place beyond your senses where the rules of external world do not apply. You allow yourself to be unpredictable and illogical and yet your work would take a shine of its own, a beauty which is unparallel to anything created so far……. Anyone can do this… The best way to get started is to consciously imagine a new world and willingly enter into it…..
Your inner voice was always speaking to you but you had muted it’s voice… You were so engrossed in listening to the stupid tapes which was playing day in and day out in your mind without your knowledge.. All you need to do is practice being silent for a while and you would start listening to your inner voice….
Practice all the above three things and soon the gunman would disappear all by himself…. ”
The powerful voice disappeared…
The next day i woke up in the middle of the night. I heard a gun shot… I looked around and could find no one… I looked inside of me and found a dead man holding a gun in his hand… On a closer look his face resembled mine.. The force of God has shot my lower self in the dark….
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Wednesday, December 12th, 2007
So often in our world we tend to think of strength as a quality that arises from a place of firm determination and a will to succeed no matter the cost. Even though we might want to think of a strong woman as being defined in this way, what really makes a woman confident is her capacity for listening to her true self and being able to call upon her feminine wisdom to any situation that may arise. A woman does not need to step into an assertive role or act like a man in order to be effective at what she does—she simply needs to get in touch with her insight and sense of compassion to truly demonstrate the depth of her strength.
Listening to the feminine side of ourselves may not seem easy at first for this type of energy is something that is often overlooked in many aspects of our everyday lives. If we can connect with this part of who we are, however, we will find that there is an unlimited wellspring of strength available to us. Our capacity to tap into our intuition and listen to our inner guides, to take into account the needs of those around us, and to view a situation with compassion and love are ways that we can show the world the true power that is part of our feminine nature. When we learn to integrate this source of strength into our daily tasks and decision-making, we will find that we can be more flexible and open to the things that happen around us and more receptive to new ideas. Not only will we see the world in a different light, but we will truly start to realize the potential for this form of energy to both empower ourselves and those around us.
As we cultivate our feminine energy we can redefine the meaning of strength. By embracing our feminine power as something that is strong in its own right, we are able to use it with true assurance and determination and draw upon what truly belongs to us.
Tags: Compassion, Decision-Making, Determination, Feminine Energy, Self Improvement, Success, Wisdom, Women
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